MAKING THE EFFORT – DATING

  

Carrying on from our discussion about all being recluse’s and liking it, we can be any age as the above comment is by a young single mum so we are all affected by this new way of living in some way or another.  

So apart from holidays and days out to give us inspiration for our writing there is no need to go anywhere as we have friends and family on FaceBook, we do our shopping and everything else on line but what about dating?  Are we using sites to find our dates now instead of going out and is it successful?   Ten years ago the popular site was FaceParty, I thought it was good at the time and did meet a couple of people from there and two of them I am still friends with.  I think men were more honest then with not so much game playing as they were up front with what they wanted from you, as in the type of date etc.  I was sorry to see this site disappear.  You also had LoopyLove which I think is still going, back when I was on it there appeared to be more men after affairs than wanting to date.  I do not know what it is like now.  I did always meet in open places and never had any bad experiences but I did always talk to them on Skype before hand so you could see what they were like, just in case the picture was ten years old and you could get to know them a bit.  

On line dating now is very different, you have so many sites to choose from some of which are free others you have to pay for before you can chat to anyone.  I guess the most popular one is Plenty of Fish which is free for women and men have to pay to chat I believe.  You can choose sites that have the type of person you are looking for, like men in uniforms or swinging/sex sites or even just groups of people that are interested in the same things.  So the choice is vast but they all follow the same theme so you have to have your wits about you and really ask questions and definitely talk to the person on Skype.  Many men just want sex in what ever way they can get it as in text, video, Skype or in person but they are all up front about it.  I find the most annoying thing is that you have to put on your profile what you are looking for, which is fine but then you get men that obviously do not read any profiles and just look at pictures and go straight for the sex, they are blocked immediately.  I find some of those very crude and it is off putting, you can always just hide your profile for a few weeks before you try again.  

Many sites are used just to make new friends now and not so much the dating but that tends to work as new friends bring their friends and then you may find your date.  Does on line dating work?  I have not got precise numbers but in one year 20%  of relationships started on line!   So maybe you will have to still go out to meet new people if you are single and looking. 

 

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9 Comments

  1. 20th April 2015 / 6:31 am

    I made a few friends via online dating sites like ok cupid and match.com then later met my husband – – Those were the positive aspects. The negative side of this is that communicating with someone online is very different from communicating in person. My husband was the sweetest, kindest, darling of a guy online, on the phone, via Skype and during our dating. But as soon as we got married he changed. Well let’s correct that – – He didn’t change, his true personality was revealed! The person I thought I ‘knew’ and fell in love with was an imposter. It’s like the stuff you see on 48hr mystery or Identity Discovery. He became verbally abusive then when I noticed this pattern escalating I ended the relationship and that’s when he became physically abusive. He almost killed me while our 3month old daughter slept in the other room.

    Long story short, dating is now something that terrifies me and it will probably not happen again until my daughter is grown. Won’t subject her to the possibility of someone else turning our lives upside down when we are just now getting back on our feet.

    • 20th April 2015 / 9:47 am

      I can understand you not wanting to try that again but I guess that does happen even when meeting someone new in an everyday situation. As I know from a bad experience too. I find the older we get the more we know our own minds and what we want, the hard bit is finding anyone that “fits” which I guess comes down to luck. I have enjoyed this exchange with you, are you on FaceBook as I would love to link up with you…..you can never have too many friends lol. Take care xx

      • 20th April 2015 / 5:30 pm

        Hi. Appreciate you wanting to link on FB but since this is a public forum and Facebook is private I would like to keep those contacts separate for personal security reasons. My husband made some very serious threats that I will not take lightly for the safety of my family.

        • 21st April 2015 / 8:44 am

          That’s fine Hun xx

          • 21st April 2015 / 9:45 am

            Thanks for understanding. Look forward to reading more of your work. Many blessings to you. Have a lovely day 🙂

  2. 20th April 2015 / 12:05 am

    I know a large number of young people, including my own nephew who are married or together for a long time with children as a result of online dating.
    When I think of some of the relationships I have developed through blogging I understand the up sides of online dating.

    • 20th April 2015 / 9:48 am

      Yes, there is good and bad in everything, I guess the main thing is be very careful and don’t ever feel pressurised into doing anything you do not want to. Have a good week xxx

  3. 19th April 2015 / 9:01 pm

    I wonder if there are figures for age group success on using these sites. Whether the younger singles have more success finding a partner or whether the older person who may have already had a long term relationship has more joy because they’re more realistic in their expectations?
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    • 20th April 2015 / 9:52 am

      There probably is somewhere on the wonder world of the Internet! My friend makes me laugh as she has Google permanently on her iPhone as she looks up everything….Miss Google as she is known to friends lol xxx have a great week xx

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