Dreaming

Dreaming today of what’s to come,
happy thoughts from a Mum.
Sons and daughters stand as one,
loving and learning to become………

Past is past and gone for now,
cannot hurt you or come, as the time is now.

Forward thinking, plans to draw,
where will we go?
Sons and daughters tell us where,
they protect and care. xx

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SUNDAY FILM

I stayed at my daughters Saturday evening as they were helping their friend move house so the grandchildren and myself settled down to an evening of X Factor, iPads and iPods and I seem to have an awful lot of things in the watch list on my eBay!

The children all woke around 10 this morning and then their cousin rode her bike down and they were all doing their own thing, chatting, tv etc. we then all sat and watched a film called The Diary Of Anne Frank, what a brilliant film, I had not seen this before and I was well impressed, I think all children should watch it for their history subject at school as its much easier to understand from a young persons point of view. They all really liked it and we had a chat about it after, Izzy has read all the books and watched the film before so she knows just about everything there is to know about Anne Frank.

All children had showers and hair wash and bags ready for tomorrow. Kara cooked us all a lovely roast dinner and their Mum and Dad came back in time to eat with us. All in all a good weekend and I will go home in the morning for a rest!

I will be packing, cleaning, resting and getting ready for my holiday for the next couple of days and I cannot wait to get to my sun bed on the beach.

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SATURDAY THOUGHTS

How many times do we hear people say, it will be ok, everything will turn out ok, you will be ok!
Do we believe them? No, maybe it helps us to feel ok in our thoughts but unless the person does something to change our situation they cannot help at all.

Does it make the person saying it to you feel better, as that’s the only thing they can do for you, offer kind words. Should they just not say anything?

Why do we worry about things that we have no control over? Common sense says do not worry, but some cannot help themselves, they probably wish they could. It would be wonderful if when you said, it will be ok, that it really was all ok.

For many people they do not worry about anything, in fact they are so care free they just flow through life. Is that being not responsible or the way to be? All I know is that I wish I did not worry about anything, I know I would be happier!

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FRIDAY

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Friday, what does it mean to you? Last day of the week, Friday night out with friends, take away and feet up night or just another day as you have to work tomorrow. I have always liked Fridays because it has always been the end of the working week for me and we always went out on a Friday evening when I worked at the collage.

Today is not just any Friday though, today is International Chocolate Day, big sigh, it is ok to eat that box of chocolates tonight and have that super large chocolate dessert. In fact you can have anything with chocolate in it and not feel guilty as you are supporting the day! You can encourage everybody to eat chocolate and be happy. Friday is chocolate lovers dream day, enjoy.

Then we have the date to go with our Friday, the 13th. If you are not superstitious then nothing matters but did you walk under that ladder today? No, maybe you are a bit? I do not think we are very superstitious but on this day it does make us think about black cats, opening umbrellas indoors, we needed them outside a little bit today, not to put your shoes on the table, never really understood this one as why would you put your shoes on the table? In fact why would you want to open your umbrella indoors? There are many superstitions that people are aware of today, would you fly today? I would. A lot of these sayings I would not do on any day as it seems common sense to me but hey we are all different.

So what ever Friday you are having, I hope it is fun and carry on eating the chocolate! I accept donations! x

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BOOKS

I do like to buy a book, pages all crisp and new. It is the front cover that attracts me to the book, not the title or the author, I look all along the shelf and immediately there are always two or three that will jump out at me. Then I read the title and what it is about and finally the author and if all that is a yes it goes in the basket.

I like a lot of authors work now so I tend to know what their books are about from the social media sites and then I go to the book shop and look for that one in particular. Most times ending up buying a couple while I am there.

It is a shame that small book stores are struggling now as they are so friendly and helpful, always having time to stop and have a chat about the latest releases. They cannot compete with the supermarkets doing deals like three for £10 and I think we are all guilty of putting some in the trolly with the monthly shopping. Lets face it that is a bargain and the choice is getting very varied now as demand is growing.

What about the ebooks? The choice is far and wide, selling for such small amounts or even free for a lot of the time. You can view them on almost anything now from your phone to iPad or laptop and if your memory is big enough you can keep them. But is it like a book, you hold it if its small enough, you turn the pages on it, it just does not have the smell of a nice new book or even an old book with memories of the people that have read it, sometimes writing their name in it. Do you get the same satisfaction from reading an ebook?

I have collected books that have been signed by the author, you cannot do that with an ebook. I like to see bookshelves in people’s homes, looking at their varied taste a bit like their music collection. But even the music has gone digital no need to buy CD’s now just buy it from iTunes, so we will not be able to see people’s music collection or their book collection. We will not need book shelves or CD racks, minimalistic homes we will become.

I have got some ebooks but not read any of them, I read a couple of pages and it just does not feel the same. Give me a book, old or new and I will read it and probably keep it until I have to get rid of some to the charity book shop so I can fit new ones on the shelves…..there is a limit to how many shelves you can fit in, I have four and no more room. I have some of my grandparents old books but I just cannot let them go, they are part of them and my history.

Lets all buy a book and support our brilliant authors!

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My great Aunts poetry book, she even penciled in the ones she liked. I only ever had to learn one poem and that was The Brook by Tennyson. One of her cookery books.

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Who used to read the comic Jackie? My Nan and Grandad had it delivered for me with the newspaper, I was always up early that morning. When I took Izzy to meet Jacqueline Wilson she was saying how she worked at the publishers that first printed Jackie and they took the name from her.

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LOVE!

LOVE, are we using the word too often, is it all just sounding a bit wishy washy with no actual meaning or sentiment. How often do you say I love you or does it just flow out in what ever you are talking about, I love my dog, I love this book I’m reading! What do we mean when we say I love you, do we actually love our pet budgie or we just saying it because it sounds more meaningful than like? But the cat, dog or budgie wouldn’t really mind what we said. Why do we love them? Because they are ours, they capture all our feelings. Our parents are ours and we love them for being them, giving us life so if we love the budgie and love our parents why is it so hard if a parent dies? So we have depths of love, how far does the love go? Can we control it or does it control us? From birth we grow up with our parents telling us that they love us, they might not be there all the time, so do they love us less.

How do we know we are loved or how do we know we are in love? Do we have to see the person to love them or can we love them from afar but then is that proper love. Do we just say I love you just because people expect to hear it, does it make us feel better, do we feel better when we say it to others. I love my cat and would be upset if anything happened to her but would it be a gut wrenching pain like when my Grandad died, no. We put luv u in text messages, we say it to our friends our animals our family our children we even say I love this book. So LOVE is not such a powerful word as it used to be because we use it everyday, has it not got the powerful meaning anymore? Your partner can say it every day but would it mean more if he only said it when he actually wanted to for that moment and that feeling of wanting to love you? Maybe we do say it too often to have the full punch of the word and meaning. Next time you say the L word, why are you saying it?

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AGE……IS IT JUST A NUMBER?

I have heard that being said so many times…….age, it’s just a number! Do we mean it? Or is it just the simplest comment to make quickly and easily when faced with people telling you their age or an age difference in a relationship or friendship. Why are some situations readily accepted and some looked at with horror? If you had a girl of 25 with a best friend of 16 not really a problem but what if the friend was a boy? You immediately get the questions of, why would a girl of 25 want to be friends with a boy of 16. People always want a reason, why can’t they just be friends and accepted for what it is? We always have to question relationships if they are a little bit different, what happened to being happy for the person and not looking for an ulterior motive.
If there is a girl of say 30 going out with a man of 60 immediately you think gold digger, after his money, have you seen some 60 year olds now? They can be hot, she may not of even realised his age when first meeting him. So many people now lie about their age as they know they will immediately be characterised into something they are not.
Man of 24 going out with a woman 57, woman is put in group of having a toy boy and now she is called a cougar. Why would a young man want to be in a relationship with a woman that much older than him? Simple answer, they are attracted to one another and want to be in a relationship. Is it accepted? People know they are not going to be accepted so for some they are discreet but if age is just a number, why are people bothered? We always think there is an ulterior motive for relationships with an age difference no matter what way round it is. Each person is different and if you can see that they are happy, shouldn’t you be happy for them and accept their choices. You may not agree but hey age is just a number!
Some will work out and some not but if you don’t try you will never know and if you find you are happy then yes, age is just a number!

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GOODBYE SUMMER

Why are the simplest things to do on a computer end up being the hardest and then all the high tech gadgets make it even worse. App for phone, app for iPad, Windows 8 you can do different things on each gadget, except the one thing you want to do…….make this post go to my Pinterest!

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How quick things change, last week we were sitting in the garden enjoying temperatures of 30 degrees. Today it has been grey, miserable and raining a big reminder that summer is just about over and the long cold winter months are getting closer.
You also have the Christmas goods appearing in the shops, much too early I think but they are all doing it. All reminders that winter is creeping up on us and here to stay for a few months but on the good side we have lovely winter stews, puddings with custard and hot chocolate in big mugs that warm your hands up.
Winter will be coming a bit later for me as I am off to Corfu soon for two weeks of sun, sea, Mojhito’s and lots of writing. I will also be posting little reminders about how hot it is there! Sorry folks.

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MEMORIES

I still find it amazing that certain things can evoke such strong memories for ourselves. Never knowing when something, someone, a picture, a smell or anything good or bad will again fill our heads and therefor affect our emotions, which we have no control over, I sometimes wish we did as laughing in an assembly, crying in the cinema or laughing in the library can be a problem…that’s just a few examples, I am sure you have lots more. We can control to a degree how we express these emotions and I guess it’s like pushing something in a jar and getting the lid on it and turning it so it won’t come out. The emotion is still in your head, how long will it stay there? No answer to that as we all deal with memories in our own way, happiness is a good one we all like to remember happy times. I have a lovely one for when I go in a garden and smell Lilly of The Valley, it takes me right back to where I lived as a child standing by the back door and seeing them all growing to the left, the smell hitting you as you stepped out into the garden. I can vividly see everything in that memory and it makes me feel happy but is that all? It should be, but then I get the feeling of sadness as I cannot go back there to the garden and my grandparents.

Yesterday is a memory, we create them good and bad. It’s the bad memories that are hard to deal with, some people finding it harder than others. Just forget about it, people say but can you when you are hurt, troubled or upset about them? So then a memory is affecting your tomorrow, how do you stop that? For some people the memory controls their lives, it’s always there, you cannot get rid of it, it’s upsetting. How to control your mind? Is that possible? You can start by pulling the memory apart, for instance. Why are you upset? Is it wrong to be upset? Only you know the answers but what I have learnt is that yes a lot of times it is ok to feel sad, angry, scared or what ever emotion it brings to you. It is ok, most people would think yes that would make me feel sad. The memory made you feel really scared, is it ok to feel scared? Yes, most people would feel scared so it is ok.

We do not feel the emotion of compassion for ourselves, we have to learn it. Once you start thinking about yourself and looking after yourself it helps. An example, you are in a car sitting in traffic singing along to the radio. BANG the car behind hits yours! Damage to cars, exchange address you drive off, neck hurts, your shaking. You get home take tablets and lay down after a couple days luckily your neck is ok.
You get ready to go to the shop feeling fine, you step out of the house and look at the car and panic, you feel sick, you can’t breath, your crying as you run inside the house. This happens for over a month, friends, family keep saying “just get in the car, you’ll be fine, stop worrying” etc etc
STOP, you were in an accident, it’s ok to feel scared to get in your car. It’s ok to feel frightened that it might happen again. It’s ok to be upset about it.
You know how you feel, not everybody else. Be compassionate to yourself, let yourself feel ok to the feelings. Have compassion for you.

I learnt this only a little while ago and it has helped me immensely, I am not wrong for having these feelings. It has helped me as I haven’t had a panic attack since learning to be compassionate for myself. I’m not saying this is the answer for everything but you do not know till you try these things and when I learnt about it I then started to understand myself a little bit.

I have another good memory that came to me very unexpected yesterday, I was looking through Pinterest….I love it and think I am a tiny bit addicted to it, you should try it.

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I saw this picture and it is the exact same jewellery box that my Nan had, my Uncle bought it home for her when he was in the Navy. I used to play with it and get all her jewellery out and dress up with it all.

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I was always asking Nan for it and when I got older she used to say that one day it would come to me. I grew up and then my daughter played with the jewellery box just like I did and she loved it. Happy memory…..sad memory, my Uncles wife took the jewellery box and I have never seen it again. It’s ok for me to have these feelings even a bit of anger in there, I am compassionate to myself, I still have all the feelings but its ok to have them even if I cry, it’s OK.

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NEW BOOK REQUIRED

I am having a very lazy day doing a bit of “networking”…. sounds far more interesting than reading all the social sites and gossip. I am doing a bit of research for one of my books so I do not feel too guilty.
Peaches is relaxing but appears to be doing a lot of sleeping.

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I have finished The Doll Makers by Penny Grubb, what a brilliant book. It starts off with a woman who has all of today’s worries about money and with her business as a Private Investigator struggling it all seems very real. The crime story that the more you read gets better and better with the characters evolving and becoming so real that the story develops into a whole new world that keeps you guessing until the end. Would definitely recommend this to everyone.

Now I have the decision to make about what to read first which is getting harder the more I read on line. I have now got another four books that I need to get as they are looking very appealing.

20130907-032006 PM.jpg The trilogy about Sophie and her rock star looks great and have been added to my wish list.

20130907-032146 PM.jpgI saw this book today in a post on FaceBook and I am going to buy it when I go to the book shop as it sounds very good. I really do think that FaceBook is a great way of pushing your book and of course your launch theme as that helps so much and gets advertised everywhere.
Going back to today I have to pick from what I have got so it is going to be……
It’s Raining Men by Milly JohnsonI have just loved all the publicity and want one of the umbrellas, you can find the link on my FaceBook. It’s just a shame all the men don’t come with the book!

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