LOVE, are we using the word too often, is it all just sounding a bit wishy washy with no actual meaning or sentiment. How often do you say I love you or does it just flow out in what ever you are talking about, I love my dog, I love this book I’m reading! What do we mean when we say I love you, do we actually love our pet budgie or we just saying it because it sounds more meaningful than like? But the cat, dog or budgie wouldn’t really mind what we said. Why do we love them? Because they are ours, they capture all our feelings. Our parents are ours and we love them for being them, giving us life so if we love the budgie and love our parents why is it so hard if a parent dies? So we have depths of love, how far does the love go? Can we control it or does it control us? From birth we grow up with our parents telling us that they love us, they might not be there all the time, so do they love us less.

How do we know we are loved or how do we know we are in love? Do we have to see the person to love them or can we love them from afar but then is that proper love. Do we just say I love you just because people expect to hear it, does it make us feel better, do we feel better when we say it to others. I love my cat and would be upset if anything happened to her but would it be a gut wrenching pain like when my Grandad died, no. We put luv u in text messages, we say it to our friends our animals our family our children we even say I love this book. So LOVE is not such a powerful word as it used to be because we use it everyday, has it not got the powerful meaning anymore? Your partner can say it every day but would it mean more if he only said it when he actually wanted to for that moment and that feeling of wanting to love you? Maybe we do say it too often to have the full punch of the word and meaning. Next time you say the L word, why are you saying it?

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I have heard that being said so many times…….age, it’s just a number! Do we mean it? Or is it just the simplest comment to make quickly and easily when faced with people telling you their age or an age difference in a relationship or friendship. Why are some situations readily accepted and some looked at with horror? If you had a girl of 25 with a best friend of 16 not really a problem but what if the friend was a boy? You immediately get the questions of, why would a girl of 25 want to be friends with a boy of 16. People always want a reason, why can’t they just be friends and accepted for what it is? We always have to question relationships if they are a little bit different, what happened to being happy for the person and not looking for an ulterior motive.
If there is a girl of say 30 going out with a man of 60 immediately you think gold digger, after his money, have you seen some 60 year olds now? They can be hot, she may not of even realised his age when first meeting him. So many people now lie about their age as they know they will immediately be characterised into something they are not.
Man of 24 going out with a woman 57, woman is put in group of having a toy boy and now she is called a cougar. Why would a young man want to be in a relationship with a woman that much older than him? Simple answer, they are attracted to one another and want to be in a relationship. Is it accepted? People know they are not going to be accepted so for some they are discreet but if age is just a number, why are people bothered? We always think there is an ulterior motive for relationships with an age difference no matter what way round it is. Each person is different and if you can see that they are happy, shouldn’t you be happy for them and accept their choices. You may not agree but hey age is just a number!
Some will work out and some not but if you don’t try you will never know and if you find you are happy then yes, age is just a number!

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Why are the simplest things to do on a computer end up being the hardest and then all the high tech gadgets make it even worse. App for phone, app for iPad, Windows 8 you can do different things on each gadget, except the one thing you want to do…….make this post go to my Pinterest!

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How quick things change, last week we were sitting in the garden enjoying temperatures of 30 degrees. Today it has been grey, miserable and raining a big reminder that summer is just about over and the long cold winter months are getting closer.
You also have the Christmas goods appearing in the shops, much too early I think but they are all doing it. All reminders that winter is creeping up on us and here to stay for a few months but on the good side we have lovely winter stews, puddings with custard and hot chocolate in big mugs that warm your hands up.
Winter will be coming a bit later for me as I am off to Corfu soon for two weeks of sun, sea, Mojhito’s and lots of writing. I will also be posting little reminders about how hot it is there! Sorry folks.

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I still find it amazing that certain things can evoke such strong memories for ourselves. Never knowing when something, someone, a picture, a smell or anything good or bad will again fill our heads and therefor affect our emotions, which we have no control over, I sometimes wish we did as laughing in an assembly, crying in the cinema or laughing in the library can be a problem…that’s just a few examples, I am sure you have lots more. We can control to a degree how we express these emotions and I guess it’s like pushing something in a jar and getting the lid on it and turning it so it won’t come out. The emotion is still in your head, how long will it stay there? No answer to that as we all deal with memories in our own way, happiness is a good one we all like to remember happy times. I have a lovely one for when I go in a garden and smell Lilly of The Valley, it takes me right back to where I lived as a child standing by the back door and seeing them all growing to the left, the smell hitting you as you stepped out into the garden. I can vividly see everything in that memory and it makes me feel happy but is that all? It should be, but then I get the feeling of sadness as I cannot go back there to the garden and my grandparents.

Yesterday is a memory, we create them good and bad. It’s the bad memories that are hard to deal with, some people finding it harder than others. Just forget about it, people say but can you when you are hurt, troubled or upset about them? So then a memory is affecting your tomorrow, how do you stop that? For some people the memory controls their lives, it’s always there, you cannot get rid of it, it’s upsetting. How to control your mind? Is that possible? You can start by pulling the memory apart, for instance. Why are you upset? Is it wrong to be upset? Only you know the answers but what I have learnt is that yes a lot of times it is ok to feel sad, angry, scared or what ever emotion it brings to you. It is ok, most people would think yes that would make me feel sad. The memory made you feel really scared, is it ok to feel scared? Yes, most people would feel scared so it is ok.

We do not feel the emotion of compassion for ourselves, we have to learn it. Once you start thinking about yourself and looking after yourself it helps. An example, you are in a car sitting in traffic singing along to the radio. BANG the car behind hits yours! Damage to cars, exchange address you drive off, neck hurts, your shaking. You get home take tablets and lay down after a couple days luckily your neck is ok.
You get ready to go to the shop feeling fine, you step out of the house and look at the car and panic, you feel sick, you can’t breath, your crying as you run inside the house. This happens for over a month, friends, family keep saying “just get in the car, you’ll be fine, stop worrying” etc etc
STOP, you were in an accident, it’s ok to feel scared to get in your car. It’s ok to feel frightened that it might happen again. It’s ok to be upset about it.
You know how you feel, not everybody else. Be compassionate to yourself, let yourself feel ok to the feelings. Have compassion for you.

I learnt this only a little while ago and it has helped me immensely, I am not wrong for having these feelings. It has helped me as I haven’t had a panic attack since learning to be compassionate for myself. I’m not saying this is the answer for everything but you do not know till you try these things and when I learnt about it I then started to understand myself a little bit.

I have another good memory that came to me very unexpected yesterday, I was looking through Pinterest….I love it and think I am a tiny bit addicted to it, you should try it.

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I saw this picture and it is the exact same jewellery box that my Nan had, my Uncle bought it home for her when he was in the Navy. I used to play with it and get all her jewellery out and dress up with it all.

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I was always asking Nan for it and when I got older she used to say that one day it would come to me. I grew up and then my daughter played with the jewellery box just like I did and she loved it. Happy memory…..sad memory, my Uncles wife took the jewellery box and I have never seen it again. It’s ok for me to have these feelings even a bit of anger in there, I am compassionate to myself, I still have all the feelings but its ok to have them even if I cry, it’s OK.


I am having a very lazy day doing a bit of “networking”…. sounds far more interesting than reading all the social sites and gossip. I am doing a bit of research for one of my books so I do not feel too guilty.
Peaches is relaxing but appears to be doing a lot of sleeping.

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I have finished The Doll Makers by Penny Grubb, what a brilliant book. It starts off with a woman who has all of today’s worries about money and with her business as a Private Investigator struggling it all seems very real. The crime story that the more you read gets better and better with the characters evolving and becoming so real that the story develops into a whole new world that keeps you guessing until the end. Would definitely recommend this to everyone.

Now I have the decision to make about what to read first which is getting harder the more I read on line. I have now got another four books that I need to get as they are looking very appealing.

20130907-032006 PM.jpg The trilogy about Sophie and her rock star looks great and have been added to my wish list.

20130907-032146 PM.jpgI saw this book today in a post on FaceBook and I am going to buy it when I go to the book shop as it sounds very good. I really do think that FaceBook is a great way of pushing your book and of course your launch theme as that helps so much and gets advertised everywhere.
Going back to today I have to pick from what I have got so it is going to be……
It’s Raining Men by Milly JohnsonI have just loved all the publicity and want one of the umbrellas, you can find the link on my FaceBook. It’s just a shame all the men don’t come with the book!

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This reminded me of the books that I have collected to read, which seems to be growing at a very fast rate.
I must not do so much “socialising” on line! The blogs and reviews I read seem to be taking up all of my reading time and by the time I go to bed I am so tired lately that I don’t need a book to make me drop off. I will share my list with you though for when I have finished The Doll Makers by Penny Grubb, which I must say is very good and I know next time I pick it up I will read it until the end, you know when it just makes you read and read until the end.

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I am not sure which one will be next but all the reviews of It’s Raining Men by Milly Johnson are great so it may well be that one and then Jon Rance as that looks good, I have been looking out for his other book to buy as that looks appealing.
How do you choose a book to buy? I am influenced by FaceBook as you can see pictures of the book and you get to know the authors a tiny bit, sometimes I am just pulled by the picture and instantly know that the book will be just what I like. Sometimes you have to go off the track though and read what the book is about to find out that yes, you do like it and buy it.
Penny’s book and Jon’s book I was instantly drawn by the story but if I hadn’t gone to Wales I would not have met her so not seen her book. Jon is on my FaceBook and saw his book there and new I had to buy it.
The book by Mia Dolan called Mia’s World I picked for a completely different reason and I would suggest probably not a very reliable way to choose a book to buy and read. My granddaughter is called Mia! Told you, not a good reason lol.
Do you choose certain books for the time of year? I always have to read a Christmas book at Christmas, it is a lovely time of year to curl up on the sofa with that soft throw you love in front of the fire reading a good Christmas story. The other time is when I go away on holiday it has to be a happy book some of my favourites are set in Italy, just because I have always wanted to travel round all the lakes and places in a camper van. Not sure what book I am going to take when I go away soon. I think it should be one that I have got but I may just creep into the bookshop and have a little look.
As soon as I saw this book on FaceBook today I knew my grandson Alfie would love it so I will be looking out for that. Why do boys like poop and slime and yucky things? Lol

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What a wonderful day that is just going to get hotter. All children back to school and all happy, my FaceBook is full of smiling children. It makes you feel happy yourself when you are surrounded by happiness. Imagine if literally everyone was happy, would there be no bad stuff in the world if everybody had happy thoughts? I’m not sure as you can be depressed but still have a happy thought it just is not enough to wash away the other thoughts and feelings that will not leave.

I was sad this morning as the little black cat that had become Peaches friend was dead in my front garden, the owners were told and very upset. I just hope it was run over and there are no poison baits about somewhere that it ate. Peaches will be confined to barracks today, much to her annoyance but she has liked all the treats so far.

There were some lovely cat books and authors amongst the friends I made in Wales on the writing holiday. One in particular was a lovely lady called Francesca Riccomini whom I spent many a lunch time with talking about our writing.

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I absolutely love the book she wrote with Claire Arrowsmith which is called What If My Cat…... So many what if questions about your cat that it makes great reading and is highly entertaining. What if my cat miaows a lot to what if he is scared of the Hoover are just a couple of examples, definitely a book to buy yourself.

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Francesca’s other book which is full of the most wonderful pictures is called Know Your Cat.

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I would highly recommended these books if you are a cat lover, especially to give for presents to all the cat people out there.

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I just had to re blog this, I love coffee cake and will definitely be making this. Lots of lovely recipes on this blog. Xx


Rolling in, happy and high
I see them coming, closer to me
I want them to depart, leave me
It pulls them back but they do not go
They stay, jumbled, scarey
Why are they doing this to me?
I close my eyes and throw them out,
don’t come back, your not wanted here
The sea drags them out, is that screaming I hear?
You have been in my head for too long and now,
I have let you go, you can’t hurt anymore,
I won’t be here when the wave returns,
Goodbye my thoughts you are not mine anymore.

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I took my daughters and all six grandchildren for lunch yesterday before they all go back to school and work. It was a lovely sunny day and a great time was had by all.
George had a lovely mixed grill as you can see, the prices are great at the Black Bull Hungry Horse as two of these were £8.49!!!!

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Lovely play area and lots of grass for the practising of handstands….no, I did not attempt those. Even the smallest enjoyed her dinner.

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Chicken, new potatoes and peas followed by ice cream.

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Today is their last day so we are making cakes, pictures later folks. Have a great day in the sun shine, it is hot already here in sunny Folkestone. x

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